Decision Anxiety

Do you ever have decision anxiety? It’s not exactly a paralysis that keeps you from making a decision, it’s just anxiety around the decision. It can come up at any time too, for any minor or major decision. Lately, I’ve had some anxiety surrounding my decision to move to the opposite side of the country by myself. Especially around the decision to buy a place to live, not rent.

Without giving away too many details, the situation is as follows:

For many years I believed I would stay in the area I grew up in just so I could stay close to my family. That decision came from nothing else. I didn’t like the area, the climate, the politics, or the opportunities. I just convinced myself I should stay because that’s where my family is and it’s not like I’m in a relationship or have any pressing reason to move away.

Then a change happened. I’m not going to say specifically what happened, but the change was nationwide and affected everyone in my country, including me. This change was going to make living where I currently live even worse on multiple fronts. I didn’t want to leave my family, but suddenly I couldn’t tangibly see myself staying anymore. It was as if a switch flipped. Then I thought about the one area I’d always loved and wanted to live in since I was a young teenager.

That’s when I knew moving there right now was my next step. But not just living there, building a life there with a home that I own and a yard for my animals and a garden. And if I’m financially able to do it after years of neglecting my wants, shouldn’t I go for it? I think so.

But boy do other people have their opinions: “You might not like the house you buy and then you’re stuck there for a few years.” Or “You might not like living in that area in general and end up regretting it and wanting to move back home.”

Of course those concerns can become reality. But doesn’t any huge life decision come with the possibility of huge consequences? If this feels right, then no matter what comes, at least it was as a result of my decision and not somebody else’s.

I think my point is, I felt so right in this decision until I told others and got negative feedback. And yes, voicing those concerns with no excitement or support, is negative.

And it’s hard. It’s really freaking hard to realize what you want only to be bombarded with other people’s anxiety for you. It’s even harder to not let it affect you. To just keep taking those steps forward while it feels as though many people behind you are shouting “don’t make this mistake!'“

But what’s a mistake to others, might be the right choice for me. Even if I end up regretting it. Because it’s my choice.